Saturday, January 1, 2011

Elfies and Apricot Almond Crescents

Who let  you in here?  Did Inka invite you?  Did Casmo smuggle you in here?  I know, it was Pinda!  You need to hide better than that or Santa will have the guard elves escort you out faster than a bobsled on a polar bear slide.  I think I know why you are here, though.  It would be hard to stay away.   Tonight is the most exciting night of all at the North Pole.  It's the 2010 annual  Elfie Awards.   (Elves Lauding Fabulous and Illustrious Ears).  Everyone knows that Elf ears get pointier and pointier the harder they work.  Baby elf ears start out with round tops like human ears but as the elf grows and works hard at his job, you will see perfectly pointy tympanic organs.  Lazy elf ears just stay round like baby elf ears. But hey, if you want to see some perfect specimens, look at mine! 

Why are you looking at me like that?  So I added a little ear gel to make mine point a bit more.  Everybody does it. Okay, and I added some Dr. Lazlo's sparkle dust to the points.  I refuse to be seen on the cover of ELF magazine in their Stars Without Makeup issue again.  That's right, I said star.  I've been awarded the title of  Elf Supreme for three years running.  If I win again tonight I will set a new record and be crowned Grande Supreme Elf.  Sort of like Toddlers and Tiaras but with less tantrums and more rhinestones, if that's possible. 

You are still looking at me strangely.  Did you think that Christmas was the big night around here?  That's a good one.  By the time December 25th rolls around we are done, finito, finished.  That's Santa's big night along with his Chief Elf and of course, the reindeer.  You don't know much about the North Pole, do you?  Well, I'll be happy to fill you in and tell you all about it.  Now, go hide and wait for the awards. Have some cookies.  I've got to find my Bedazzler. 

Elfies are cookies that are served at the awards ceremony.  The first kind of cookie served is the Lazy Elf Cookie.  It serves as a reminder to work hard during toy season and not be lazy.  Who wants round ears?   The second kind of cookie is the Fabulous and Illustrious Ear Cookie.  They are long and pointy and oh so good.  We only get them one time a year at the ceremony so we eat lots and lots of them.  Better make a double batch for yourself, too. 

Lazy Elf Ears
1   6-ounce package dried apricots
2 ounce block almond bark coating
2 tablespoons chopped walnuts

Melt chocolate in the microwave for 60 seconds.  Dip half of each dried apricot into the coating and then into the chopped walnuts.  Place on a sheet of parchment paper or waxed paper to set.  Yield: 20 ears.

Fabulous and Illustrious Ear Cookies
(Apricot Almond Crescents)

2 sticks (1 cup) butter
2 cups all-purpose flour
1 egg yolk, beaten
1/2 cup sour cream
1/2 cup apricot jam
1/2 cup flaked coconut
1/2 cup sliced almonds

Cut butter into flour with a pastry blender or two knives until mixture resembles coarse meal. Combine egg yolk and  sour cream; stir into flour mixture. Do not use a mixer.  Divide and shape dough into 4 balls. Cover dough and chill for 3 hours or overnight.
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. On a generously floured surface, roll out one portion of the dough into a 10-inch circle. Keep remaining portions chilled until needed.  Spread 2 tablespoons apricot jam on each circle then sprinkle with 2 tablespoons coconut and 2 tablespoons almonds. Cut each circle evenly into 12 wedges. Roll up wedges, beginning at wide end.  Stretch out each end slightly to make “points” for our point ears and then curve the whole cookie into a crescent before placing on ungreased baking sheets. Sprinkle crescents lightly with sugar. Repeat with remaining dough. Bake at 350° for 20 minutes or until lightly browned. Remove from baking sheets immediately and cool on wire racks. Yield: 48 cookies.

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