Thursday, January 13, 2011

Old Whizzer Caramels

Old Whizzer was a mean and crusty elf.  Whizzer wasn’t his real name.  Just the name we gave him because he rarely came out of his cottage except to yell at kids for coming onto his lawn – or permafrost as the case may be.    If you dared to venture his way, you would soon hear snowballs whizzing past your pointy ears.  He rarely connected with his target.  I think he mostly sent them as a warning to stay away. 
Unfortunately, his house was near the North Pole Kitchens and elves were complaining feverishly about his antics.  Seems they couldn’t get to the kitchen for their afternoon cookie and cocoa break without being bombarded by snowballs. Something had to be done about this impish elf.  Whizzer absolutely and positively had to stop throwing snowballs at everyone.  Kids were crying, reindeer were barking, and insults were flying.  
Over the years, elves had talked to Whizzer pleading with him to stop.  There were ordinances made against his errant behavior.  There were “Whizzer Warning” signs put up near his yard, and even Elmo, the Chief Elf, made a special plea to Whizzer personally “for old elves' sake.” Nothing worked.
I gathered 3 of my most trusted assistants into my kitchen office and hoped we could decide once and for all how to get him to stop.  I had a backload of cocoa and cookies that needed to get eaten.  It was right then and there that we hatched a plan.  There was only one choice and we had to do it.  We had to kill him.
Yes, it was the only thing to do.  We had to kill him.  Not elficide, there’s no such thing as that at the North Pole.  We had to kill him... with kindness, of course.  Here’s how it went down.
We gathered up the murderers with their suspicious looking pouches.  We ventured onto Old Whizzer’s lawn and sure enough he came out with blazing snowballs.  We reached into our pouches to get our own snowballs out and began to fire them at him. But, these were special snowballs.  They were homemade snowballs filled with candies and goodies.  Old Whizzer picked up one of the snowballs that had fallen at his feet and examined it.  He cracked it open and then, miraculously, he cracked a smile.  He gathered all the goodie filled snowballs and went back into his house.  Our plan had worked!
Now, the only time Old Whizzer throws snowballs is when he is out of treats and that’s our cue to throw some of our special snowballs his way.   

Indoor Snowballs Party Favors

6 small white balloons
1/3 cup all-purpose flour
1 tablespoon salt
½ cup water
6 white paper towels
White tissue paper
White school glue
Masking tape

Blow up balloons and tie ends.  Mix together the flour, salt, and water.  Dip paper towels into flour mixture and place one paper towel over each balloon smoothing out wrinkles as well as possible.  Allow to dry completely.  Cut tissue paper into 1X1 inch squares.  Using the eraser end of a pencil, twist the tissue square over the pencil and dip into glue.  Place twisted tissue onto dried balloon.  Cover surface completely except for one small circle.  Make a cut in the uncovered portion and remove the balloon and then fill snowball with goodies.  Place a small piece of tape over the opening and finish covering the snowball with tissue paper squares.  Repeat with remaining balloons.

Whizzer Caramels

1   cup butter
1   1-pound box brown sugar
1   14-ounce can sweetened condensed milk
1   cup light corn syrup
1   teaspoon vanilla extract
1   cup chopped pecans

In a saucepan, melt the butter over low heat.  Add sugar, condensed milk, and corn syrup; mix well.  Cook over medium  heat, stirring frequently,  until mixture reaches soft ball stage(236 degrees).  Remove from heat and add vanilla.  Pour into a generously buttered 9X9 in dish.  Allow to cool.  When cool, use a wet, sharp knife to cut into small squares.  Twist in waxed paper or cellophane. Yield: 2 pounds

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